Controlling others is a habit that can have a negative effect on relationships and life in general. If you notice that there is a person around you who is constantly controlling you and your life, it may be time to think about how to deal with it.
1. Insecurity and irrational fears
The controlling person is usually insecure about himself and his abilities. He has a fear of the unknown and unpredictable. That is why he tries to control everything around him – to avoid surprises and setbacks.
2. Constant criticism
The controlling person will criticize you for any reason or no reason. He will only point out shortcomings and mistakes, ignoring all the good that you do.
3. Criticism is packaged as caring
The controlling person will say that he criticizes you only to make you better. But really he is just trying to manipulate you.
4. using ultimatums and threats
The controlling person can use any emotional means of violence to get you to do something. He can use threats, ultimatums, tears, tantrums.
5. Restricting communication with other people
The controlling person will do anything to make you communicate less with other people. He will demand all of your attention and time.
6. Spying and controlling
A controlling person will spy on you, monitor your movements, calls, contacts and social networks. He can pick up passwords and open accounts.
7. A reminder of how much he has done for you
A controlling person will often remind you of how much they have done for you by either implying or explicitly saying you owe them a lot.
8. Keeping score in a relationship
The controlling person will always keep score in the relationship. He will easily call out how many blunders have been made on your part and how many good things he has brought into your life.
9. Spoiled Mood
The controlling person may try to make you feel bad too if he is in a bad mood or has trouble in his life.
10. Expecting Attention and Gifts
The controlling person may constantly expect you to pay attention or give him or her gifts or other “goodies” for him or her.
11. Criticism condemns into the form of a joke
The controlling person may doom criticism into the form of a joke or quip. The point of these jokes is not to amuse or delight, but to humiliate and point out shortcomings.
12. the use of guilt
The controlling person can use your sense of guilt to get you to do what they want you to do.
13. Knowing your pain points
The controlling person knows all your pain points and can use them to control you.
14. Makes you doubt yourself
The controlling person can make you doubt yourself, your actions, your thoughts, your choices.
15. Low self-esteem
Controlling others can lead to low self-esteem. A controlling person can make you feel worse about yourself than you are.
What should you do if you have a controlling person around you?
1. Set boundaries. Do it clearly and concisely.
2. Try to understand why this person is controlling you. He may have his own reasons.
3 Don’t let this person manipulate you. He should not control your life.
Seek help from a psychologist or relationship specialist if you can’t handle the situation on your own.
5. Don’t forget your interests and needs. You are entitled to freedom and independence.