Fear of others’ opinions is one of the most common problems that people face. We are all afraid of judgment, disapproval, and criticism from others. But this fear can be the cause of missed opportunities and unfulfilled dreams. In this article we will tell you how to overcome the fear of other people’s opinions and start living your life to the fullest.
The roots of the problem
Fear of other people’s opinions has its roots in childhood. Strict parents and teachers suppressed the impulses and will of a child who was “too” loud, active, whiny or curious, or “not” good enough. At school he might have been bullied for being “something different. Growing up, one learns that the safest thing to do is to live with a “keep your head down” attitude – no one will say anything that way.
This fear can lead to missed opportunities: career growth, new acquaintances, travel, hobbies, happy relationships. After all, it is impossible to get all of this while in a passive position.
How to overcome the fear of others’ opinions
To conquer the fear of others’ opinions, you need to think about several issues:
– Is the fear of public opinion worth the sacrifice: the lost time and opportunities-the most valuable and unrecoverable resources?
– Whose judgment are you afraid of? Who are the judges? Is their opinion really that authoritative for you?
– Would a truly successful person waste their time judging you instead of living their own life?
– Do you really think that your person is so important that everyone thinks about you, that they keep you in their head?
– Even if someone disagrees with you and doesn’t like your view of the world, what’s wrong with that?
Separation
Once you find yourself emotionally independent of your parents, it’s much easier to give up trepidation over the evaluative opinion of the rest of your environment. To do this, it’s also important to remove the image of parents, teachers, humiliating classmates from all other people. Firstly, they no longer have any influence on you, and secondly, you have grown up, have become stronger and can already fight back, you have nothing to fear.
Processing traumas of the past
If the fear of condemnation is associated with a trauma from the past, make sure to work through it, otherwise the psyche will fall into this negative experience when a similar situation arises, and will not allow you to move forward.
Separation of introjects
Deal with introjects: Separate the judgments and experiences of significant others from your own.
Make a clear picture of yourself
Get a clear picture of yourself: who you are, what you like, what you strive for, what are your values and priorities? Such judgments should be immutable and not be transformed by outside opinions: you know exactly everything about yourself.
Shifting Attention
When confronted with the fear of judgment, try shifting your attention to the benefit you get from doing something. It may be an experience that reveals new horizons, possibilities, and unforgettable experiences. Thinking about it will overpower the fear and help you take action.
Reducing Embarrassment
Find the right words to temper feelings of shame: “Really, no one cares, everyone is preoccupied with their own business. At worst I will experience unpleasant emotions, but that’s better than not trying at all. You can’t please everyone, so I choose what I think is right.
Conclusion
Fear of other people’s opinions is a problem that haunts many people. But to start living life to the fullest, you need to conquer this fear. To do this, you need to get to the root of the problem, separate yourself from your introjects, have a clear view of yourself, and shift your attention to the benefits. You can’t please everyone, so choose what you think is right for you. Don’t be afraid to stick your head out and try new things-it can lead to incredible results.
