Narcissism and fear of intimacy: how to understand emotional unavailability

Emotional inaccessibility is a condition where a person stubbornly avoids intimacy with others. Such people are not ready to open up and show their feelings, which can lead to the destruction of relationships. In this article, we will look at why emotional unavailability occurs, how to understand it, and what to do if you or your partner find yourself in this state.

Why does emotional unavailability arise?

Psychologists note that emotional unavailability can be either permanent or temporary. Permanent coldness is usually associated with early trauma that led to the formation of a narcissistic personality. For example, a child who has observed his parents’ unhappy marriage may subconsciously decide that emotional intimacy is dangerous and brings only misery, and avoid close relationships in the future.

Temporary emotional unavailability can be caused by stressful situations, such as a move, a layoff, or a relationship breakup. In this case, the person temporarily shuts down and avoids intimacy with others in order to protect their emotions.

How do you know if you are facing an emotionally unavailable person?

Usually such people come into contact at a convenient time for them, easily forget their promises to write, call or meet, do not ask you about the details of your life, do not like to talk about themselves. Months after communicating with such a person, you may be surprised to find that you know nothing about them at all.

Such people studiously avoid any talk about their feelings, no matter theirs or yours. At the same time, in situations not related to the interpersonal sphere, they can be very active and emotionally interested. They are happy to immerse themselves in conversations about politics and fashionable social trends, talk about history and environmental issues, and sometimes are even ardent activists.

What to do if you or your partner find yourself in a state of emotional inaccessibility?

If you realize that you or your partner has become emotionally unavailable, you need to take steps to change the situation. Here are some tips to help you:

1. communicate. Try to start a conversation about your feelings and experiences. If your partner is not ready to have this conversation, give it time and don’t insist.

2. be patient. Changing your state of emotional unavailability can take a long time. Don’t give up on your partner and keep working on the relationship.

3. seek professional help. If you can’t handle the situation yourself, see a psychologist. He will help you understand the reasons for emotional unavailability and give you recommendations on overcoming it.

Emotional unavailability is a serious problem that can lead to the destruction of the relationship. If you or your partner find yourself in this state, you need to take steps to change the situation. Communicate, be patient, and don’t be afraid to seek help from professionals.

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