No time for sex: why in hard times desire disappears and how to get it back

The COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent quarantine measures have affected everyone’s lives. Many have experienced manifestations of anxiety and stress, which can lead to various consequences, including a loss of desire for sex. What happens in our bodies when we are under a lot of stress, and how can we get our desire for intimacy back?

Sexual desire and stress

Sex is an important human need that can begin to “suffer” when a person is extremely stressed. Some lose their appetite, some sleep disturbingly and do not sleep well, and some lose their desire for sex. This is how the body signals to us that it is very uncomfortable and that it needs help.

Feeling safe

Relaxing, feeling the desire and making love is usually possible when emotionally a person feels safe, when he feels that nothing is threatening him. Feeling safe in this place is especially important for women.

How do you keep the desire to tune in to intimacy?

Here are a few tips that can help keep the desire to tune into intimacy alive, even during difficult times:

1. Talk to your partner. Discuss your feelings and emotions, share your worries. Often talking can help improve the relationship and restore the desire to tune into intimacy.

2. Find a way to relax. Do yoga, meditate, listen to music or read a book – find something that will help you relax and relieve stress.

3. Create a romantic atmosphere. Do something nice for your partner, cook a candlelight dinner or organize a romantic weekend. Creating a romantic atmosphere can help restore the desire for intimacy.

4. Don’t forget about your body. Exercise, watch your diet and lifestyle. A healthy body is the key to feeling good and wanting to get in the mood for intimacy.

5. Ask for help from a specialist. If the problem persists, do not hesitate to ask for help from a psychologist or sexologist. They can help you sort out your feelings and emotions and get your desire to tune in to intimacy back.


Sexual desire can be lost during hard times, but there are many ways that can help bring it back. Talk to your partner, create a romantic atmosphere, take care of your body, and don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional.

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